Decisions, Decisions

More snow.  Great. 
One of the biggest unknowns in ultra running is the weather.  No matter how much you train, how prepared you are, there are some things that are just out of your control.  My first big race of 2014 is suppose to happen on Saturday: Phunt 50K.  When I signed up, I knew the weather was a wild card, but hey, I have had pretty good luck so far with getting the runs in, and (full disclosure here) I am a much better cold weather runner than a heat runner.  I can peel layers off and put them on as I go, and am not really bothered by temps below freezing.  BUT, I have yet to run longer than 10-12 miles in real snow, especially on trails.  Add to that the single digit temps that are predicted and I am beginning to rethink taking myself 2+ hours away for this race. 

Somehow this just doesn't seem fun.

Unfortunately, the alternatives are  1) to run some 30 miles around the local neighborhoods and trails, or 2) to run 30 miles on my treadmill.  I have actually run 22+ miles on the treadmill, but I think the extra 8 might just put me over the edge.

britney crazy is not a good look

Still not sure what to do...haven't made a final decision. But as I look out the window and watch the snow come down (and down, and down, and down), I can't help but think about getting lost on the trail somewhere in Elkton and having to finally put all those hours of watching "Duel Survivor" to good use.

Don't worry, I'll keep you posted!

Relentless Forward Progress

While I may seldom make it to midnight on New Year's Eve, there are two traditions that I faithfully observe before the ball drops: I go to Mass and thank God for the grace and goodness he has bestowed on my life in the past year, and I total my running mileage and set new goals for the coming year.  For a lot of people, that second tradition may seem pretty self absorbed, but both provide the self reflection and spirituality that is paramount in my life.  After all, so much of my running involves prayerful thought and reflection.  I am closer to God when I am out in the woods, with the raw, cold wind blowing on my face, and listening is easier when there is no sound but my footfalls.  There are so many questions that are asked and answered while I am running.

Last New Year's Eve, I was heavily into a training plan to get me to my first 100 mile race.  I was faster, stronger, and so optimistic.  Everything was falling into place, and then, well, it wasn't.  With only 5 weeks to go before the race, I injured my knee and it made running at all, much less 100 miles, an unattainable goal.  But that came and went, and new goals were set, new conversations started.  I wasn't mad, or bitter, just disappointed and resigned to the fact that this year, this race was not meant to be.  My time on the trails had taught me that you just have to keep moving forward - sometimes in a direction that you never intended to take.  So that is what I did - running other races and continuing my pursuit of the 100 (some day).  So far so good.  I am training again for Umstead, and trying to listen more and worry less.  Whatever the outcome, I know it will be the right outcome for me.  So goodbye to 2013 with goals unmet.  Thank you for teaching me perseverance and bravery.  Thank you for not allowing my failures to define me and giving me the opportunity and ability to try again.

Good Times at Rehoboth

Christmastime at the beach...what could be better??  How about 3 wonderful friends, a great suite of a room, and running a marathon just a mere 24 hours before a major snowstorm shuts down most of the east coast!

I wasn't sure how my legs would handle running a marathon just three weeks after the Stone Mill 50 miler.  My legs were crazy sore for 3 full days after that and my first "comfortable" run was on Thanksgiving, just a week before we left for the beach.  I remember the same feeling last year, after doing the same thing. (In case you are wondering, NO, I NEVER LEARN).  But I was excited for a mini weekend away, and knew that the course was flat and fast (its all relative, remember!)

 Surprisingly, flat marathons can really stink.  There were times when I looked longingly at the bridge or overpass in the distance and fantasized that we could go up or down, just to use some different muscles.  My legs were not very happy with me, and the chilly head wind seemed to mock the whole "flat and fast" description.  At one point, in Henilopen State Park, I think I squealed with delight when I realized that we were headed for an "overlook!"  That could only mean one thing...a big hill!!!  In this case though, it was a little hill, but it did lead to a gorgeous ocean view.  For the Rehoboth Beach Marathon, we actually saw very little of the ocean.  But as windy as the day was, it would have probably have been much worse running any closer to the shore than we did.  The roads were broken up by some trails through the parks and through neighborhoods decorated for the Holidays.  I lost Nanette, the other Evil Sister marathoner, somewhere around mile 6 or 7, and never caught her again.  She had a great race!  And Pam and Lucia killed it in the half, both getting 5th in their respective age  groups.  I was the last of us to finish, but not before two fighter jets screamed overhead at about mile 23.  Who knew I could jump that high after running for that long!  I think I started going faster then...

As I rounded the last corner, a kind police officer quipped, "What happened, did you run out of steam?" and I gave my best "Are you kidding me right now?" face, and just said "YUP!" and that was the truth.  After crossing the line and grabbing my embarrassingly large medal, the four of us headed to Starbucks for a quick change, then stopped to buy the most delicious salted caramel fudge and chocolate covered pretzels, (recovery food) and jumped in the car and headed home.

Somehow, my garmin, which I had stopped after finishing, was restarted in the jostle of bags in the back and had my recorded stats:
Total Miles:  167.18
Total Time:  8 hrs. 35 mins
Pace:  3:04/mile   19.5 mph

But, that isn't even the end....the next day my recovery included shoveling the surprise 7" of snow that fell early the next morning!  We couldn't have timed it better!

Reflecting at Stone Mill

I was ready to drop at mile 8 and again at mile 13.  I felt fine, pretty good actually, and the day was gorgeous, but my heart was just not ready to run another 37 miles.  So many things going on in my life, my thoughts scattered like a dandelion in the wind, and I couldn't focus on what I needed to do.

 So I told myself to just get to the river, to the towpath, and decide.  Lucky for me, I am too stubborn to quit, and as they almost always do, things got better.  The heaviness lifted and even though my legs were suffering, I made it to mile 29 where my first drop bag was waiting.  I didn't really need anything, but knowing it was there gave me a boost.  Unlike last year, when my husband accompanied me to this race, I was going solo this year.  At my house everyone was going in different directions, and I felt strangely and uncomfortably lonely.  I knew I could finish, just didn't know if I wanted to.  So I looked around, breathed in the beauty of the day, and reminded myself how lucky I was to be out here on this Saturday in November.

Trail running has become more of a challenge since the Evil Sisters have slowed their pace.  I find that I am gravitating back to road running, and oh how I miss those days on the trail.  I reminded myself of this as I shuffled along the C&O Canal towpath.  I was pleasantly surprised at the time, and knew I was going faster than last year.  At the 35 mile mark, I had no doubt that I would get to the finish.  My quads were screaming on each and every downhill, so I just let the momentum take me and hoped that there was no unseen root that would catch my foot. None the less, I did fall once, a slow motion fall that was met with a welcoming cushion of mud and pine needles.  Even the ground knew that today I just needed a break.  I stayed deep in my thoughts, barely talking to anyone, just letting my life play out inside my head.  This is what running gives me - the time to sort out, to reflect and to breath.  I haven't been breathing enough lately.   Not those big belly breaths that signal peace and contentment.  I have been a whirlwind of decisions, planning, scheduling, and trying to formulate a strategy for my next move in my career and my life.  Scary things and not usually compatible with the tranquility of running.  But running was exactly what I needed.  Time alone, time to consider.  Before I knew it, the sun was setting and I was at the second to last aid station searching my drop bag for my light.  I didn't need it yet, and wouldn't for another hour or so, but just the security of having it made me feel better.  Last year I had a mini panic attack in the darkening woods with no course markings in sight. This year, as I passed each reflective strip, I said a little prayer that I still didn't need the glow it provided.  Eventually, however, I did, and that is when I fell in with other runners who also felt the confidence of camaraderie on this darkened trail.  We traveled together for a few miles until the end was clearly visible.  I was able to charge up the final hill in my best toe tipping run, and finished well before the 13 hour cut off.   I was tired, sore, but satisfied with my run and my day.  What began as a hesitant journey in the darkness ended as a comforting, smile inducing effort for which I am so grateful.  No matter what direction I take in this life, it feels better to be doing in on the trail.
And hot soup at mile 47 is good too!

Running and Writing

I promise...I really am training.  I really am taking this seriously.  I really am following a plan.  I am just not writing about it!  Not sure why, but I have several great starts to blog entries that just didn't make it to the "posting" stage.  I suck at blog writing!!
Here is how I started my Baltimore Marathon post...

October 10, 2013

Saturday I will be running my 10th Baltimore Marathon.  Of course that is what I said last year at this time, and it didn't quite work out that way.  But lightening doesn't usually strike twice in the same way, so I am optimistic that things will go smoothly and I can finally have that 10th finish in the books.  It is fun to look back at some of the race photos through the years and realize how much has changed.
I was all road runner then, sleek and fast (well, not so much fast (or sleek), but fast -ER), and so serious!  Just like every other runner before the marathon, I would bounce up and down, all wound up and anxiously waiting for the gun.  I started too fast, kept going too fast, but interestingly enough, never finished too fast!  But I always finished...

Good thing I am better at finishing runs than I am at finishing blog entries....

And here is how that story ended...

October (?) 2013:

The marathon went well - I ran conservatively and while I didn't make my time goal, I wasn't unhappy with my time.

  The last few miles were tough, and immediately after crossing the finish line I "left" the stingers, oranges and everything else I ate in the porta pot, but after that, I felt fine and walked the mile back to the hotel and drove home.  I was happy to have completed my 10th Baltimore Marathon, and even happier knowing that for the last 13 years or so, I have been in good enough shape to complete several marathons and/or ultras each year.    And while this is not politically correct to write, it wasn't the 10th finish of this marathon that will stick with me, it is the fact that I puked, wiped my  mouth and moved on as if nothing had even happened.  I know, not the "Rocky" moment for most, but for me, it proved to me that I was tough enough!  And that is what I need as I ramp up the training for Umstead.

Next up is Stone Mill 50.  Check back in a few months and I may have gotten around to actually writing about it!!

You Did WHAT?

It's been a while...a crazy end of summer that had me reevaluating lots of things and deciding on new plans and ideas...
There was some running:

A pretty good run at the Annapolis 10 miler...

And some time on  the trails with the Evil Sisters.

But mostly, putting my house back together and spending time with family "down the ocean"

walking and shopping our way from 142nd street to the inlet (~10 miles).  My sister calls vacations with me "Boot Camp."  Nice!

Anyway, I was antsy and frustrated without a clear direction for my running.  First I thought I would spend the year conquering the 50 mile distance since I am already registered for Stone Mill 50 in November.  Then I thought about cutting down to shorter distances and really nailing speedwork.  And I also thought about doing more cross training, biking, maybe a triathlon?  So what I really did was this:

I guess you can take the girl out of the woods but you can't take the woods out of the girl.  So the journey to my first hundred continues....

Rattling Around at Catoctin

My name isn't on the "official" finisher's list for the 2013 Catoctin 50K.  But I was there and I DID finish...in exactly 9 hours and 18 minutes - 3 minutes after the air horn.  I heard the last finisher before me, heard the horn, and surprisingly, I was still ecstatic for a finish at all!
After a couple unsettling months of good and bad running, injuries, and more than a few disappointments, I wasn't even sure I would be starting this race.  My house was torn apart as new floors were put in, my family of 4 was living in one shared room above the garage, and I hadn't run a long run of more than 10 miles since my failed attempt at Highland Sky 40.

But I had registered for Catoctin and really, really needed a play day in the woods.  So with minimal sleep, and coffee brewed in the bathroom, I climbed in the car at 5:30 a.m. and headed for the mountains.
Because I arrived pretty early, I was able to snag a parking spot right near the start (and the bathrooms) so I had plenty of time to mill about, and take in the views.

I'll never get tired of looking out at views like this...
And this...

Even with the fog, it was cool and comforting to be back at Catoctin.  When I picked up my shirt, I knew it was destiny, since I have almost the same words on a plaque hanging in my laundry room.

 The start came quickly and we all took off - down, down, down.  (Not thinking about the "up, up, up" that had to follow on this out and back course.)  Running really felt good and I was thinking about how thankful I was to be on this trail... when the runner in front of me warned me about the rattlesnake ahead.  Wait - what??
I knew there were snakes on the trails and had even run into a few black snakes, but a rattler?  Can't they kill you???  I continued on, eyes darting left and right and sure enough, there he was, slithering back into the brush at the side of the trail.   I always wish I were faster so I would have time to take pictures as I am running, but this time, all I wanted to do was keep going!  That was the fastest climb ever!
I managed to make all the cut-offs to the turn-a-round and was pretty happy that the two mile climb up from the river (the halfway point) didn't seem as bad as I remembered from prior runs here.  And then I heard it - an unmistakable rattle that left no doubt as to its origin.  To  my left, a huge snake, coiled and rattling like crazy.

 I jumped to the right, off the trail and comically started talking to the snake as if it was a dog...."easy there boy, I won't hurt you...you're okay...".  I took a few tiptoe steps then ran like a bat out of hell until I caught the runner in front of me. I asked if he had seen the rattler, and then instantly regretted it when I saw the look in his eyes.  He hadn't seen it, so we continued on, but I swear every stick on the trail looked like a snake now. That put a spring in my step and I actually think I gained some time on the cut-offs after that!
The last 6 miles really were my undoing.  Because I was heating up, I filled my shirt with ice at the last aid station, (than goodness for elastic sports bras) and tried to make some time on the downhills.  I passed more than a few runners here and was certain that I would make the 9:15 deadline.  Somehow I had forgotten about all that downhill on the way out that was now slow and painful uphill.  Those climbs the last three miles were brutal, tiring and as much as I wanted to just plug into my ipod, the thought of not hearing more warning rattles unnerved me more than I care to admit.  I carried on, but despite my best efforts, came up 3 minutes short.  I was the first "unofficial finisher" but that seemed unimportant after 9 hours and 18 minutes on this demanding trail.  For me, it was a victory of sorts - feeling good for the whole run, eating and drinking well throughout and finally completing this brutal race.  I'll take it.